...a mind is much predicament as such a place. And yet a knowledge is here that tenses the throat as for song: the inheritance of the ones, alive or once alive, who stand behind the ones I have imagined, who took into their minds the troubles of this place, the blights of love and race, but saw a good fate here and willingly paid its cost, kept it the best they could, thought of its good, and mourned the good they lost. - Wendell Berry

It’s an accomplishment that lives in the memory of our denomination, an accomplishment that still has the power to strike awe into the hearts of members of other UU congregations: twenty-five years ago, when KUUF was a small fellowship with fewer than 80 pledging units, the members made the decision to build a new building and call a full-time minister all in the same year.

People dug deep. They didn’t give money to other charities. They spent long hours hand-dipping shingles. They sweated and skimped and sacrificed and then they celebrated—they had done what many had considered impossible. They transformed themselves from a tiny fellowship, meeting in a decaying building, tucked away in the woods where no one could find them, into a “full service church.”

Where did they find the chutzpah, passion, and strength to do what needed to be done? Perhaps there was something in the air or the water that instilled courage and a sense of purpose in people. Or perhaps they simply believed that what they were doing was so important that they couldn’t let any challenges stand in their way.

As the poet Wendell Berry puts it, they looked at the world, and “took into their minds the troubles of this place the blights of love and race.” In other words, they read the newspaper or watched the television, and noticed how much violence, injustice, and pain there is in the world. Perhaps they looked around them, or looked within, and saw loneliness and a deep need for fellowship. Their response was to turn their face to the future and resolutely build a “good fate,” for themselves, and for those of us who are here today.

They certainly had challenges! I know for a fact that the people who were here in 1985 had disagreements and differences of opinion. Some of them got tired, and even burnt out. They had good days and bad days, suffered losses and carried personal burdens. They were (and are) as human as the rest of us.

Yet as we look back, their challenges aren’t what lasted. What did? Their legacy includes our beautiful building and, indeed, our entire religious community. Both are a testament to their generosity, of pocket and of spirit. We owe them so much.

What they did is now ours to do, and it is no less important today than it was twenty-five years ago. In fact, I believe it is even more important. In the midst of the so-called “culture war,” religion is a potent weapon for people who believe that their way to be human is the only right way.

Twenty-five years later, we still take the troubles of the world into our mind. Twenty-five years later, we still imagine a world where all people are understood to have inherent worth and dignity. Twenty-five years later, we still keep this dream alive the best we can.

Our Mission as the Kitsap Unitarian Universalist Fellowship is to build a liberal religious community of love and justice, enriched by diversity, that nurtures spirituality and inspires us to act on our beliefs.

So...first of all, I’d like everyone to make sure to thank Ginger for all she has done. And secondly, I’d like to ask everyone to reflect a bit on the gifts you bring to our shared worship services.

When we gather on Sunday, we come bearing gifts. Some people bring the gift of song; our choir, special musicians, and of course, our faithful accompanist spring to mind immediately, but everyone who sings along with the hymns offers a gift to the broader community. When we sing together, we are singing to one another.

Other people bring the gift of their experience. Lay leaders, and of course whoever offers the sermon, offer what Theodore Parker calls true preaching: “life passed through the fire of thought.” Everyone who lights a candle of joy or concern offers this gift, as well.

Then there is the gift of service. Ushers welcome people at the door and hand out programs, pass the plate, and count the money. It’s not a hard job, but it’s certainly a necessary one. Other people serve as “sanctuary elves,” making sure the candles are lit and the speaker has water. On average, about twelve people volunteer in some way on Sunday morning. These are the ‘holes’ that Ginger has been recruiting people to fill.

Perhaps the most important gift, however, is our presence. Can you imagine lighting a candle of concern and looking out on an empty room? It does not have the same impact at all.

I know that many people look at the newsletter or the website at the subject of the worship service and make a decision on whether or not to attend that day. I wish that were not the case. I don’t think people come on Sunday mornings just to hear me (or whoever happens to be leading worship that day). I believe people come to be there for one another.

The more generous we are with our various gifts, the richer and more rewarding our Sunday worship services will be. Rather than waiting to be asked to contribute by ‘the lady with the clipboard’ or somebody else, are you willing to offer your gifts freely?

Here are some practical ways to help:

Being there for one another, sharing our gifts, sharing our lives, this is what worship is for. If the community matters to you, I encourage you to step forward, and share your gifts with wild abandon.

Blessings, Liz

I found the training invaluable. As they taught us the skills necessary for trauma response ministry, I kept remembering times when I’ve gone to the hospital following an unexpected death or an accident. It quickly became clear that even if I am never called upon to respond to a major disaster, I will be better at supporting indi- viduals who are facing trauma in their lives as a result of going through this training.

I learned that there are fundamental differences between “regular” pastoral care and counseling and trauma response. In “regular” situations, we try to invite people to get in touch with their feelings. In a crisis, the responder’s goal is to help a person stabilize by backing AWAY from feelings and regaining cognitive control of one’s actions and reactions.

Traumatic events trigger chemical reactions, flooding the body with stress hormones. This makes us feel like we are going crazy. In fact, the ‘normal’ reaction to ‘abnormal’ events is ‘abnormal’ behavior, thoughts, and feelings. The healing process can’t begin until people accept that, and intentionally decide on concrete steps to take in order to return to homeostasis. The thinking brain has to gently pry the reins out of the hands of the feeling brain for a while in order to get the wagon back onto the track.

In the past, this community has supported and encouraged me when I have felt called to a wider ministry, such as serving on the board of the Bremerton FoodLine or working with the district’s youth. The difference with this work is that once I am a part of the team, I can be deployed to the site of a disaster or trauma. This means I might be leaving Bremerton and KUUF for as much as two weeks. You would be without your minister for this time.

Knowing that you look out for each other exceptionally well, I feel comfortable letting go of my pastoral responsibilities at KUUF. The Lay Pastoral Ministry Team will be available and empowered to reach out to people around the crisis I would be responding to. The Trauma Response Team helps find pulpit coverage; I would be excused and fly back were there to be a death or other unrelated crisis at KUUF. Still, I am asking for your support and encouragement before I commit to doing this work.

If you’d like to speak to me about this, please do so. You can also respond (to this and other ‘Musing’ columns) via the blog on KUUF’s new website. Or you could speak with any of the members of the Committee on Ministry—Florrie Brassier, Eugene Brennan, Marilyn Drengson, Lisa Johnson, Neil Makar or John Younie—or members of the Board of Trustees.

I would hope that it would feel good to know that you, as a community, are ‘loaning’ your minister to people who are in great need. Like bringing casseroles to a family that has lost a loved one, it is something concrete to DO as a part of a compassionate response to tragedy. In fact, I would love for you to see my deployment as a part of the congregation’s ministry of extending “sympathy and compassion to those who are hurting in our wider world.”

Thank you!

Blessings,

Liz

Imagine, if you will, 160 youth and 40 adults at a camp in the middle of nowhere, the leaves on the trees glowing golden, the ground wet and glistening with rain, the spirit of radically inclusive Unitarian Universalist community permeating it all. The youth have a thing or two to teach us about building community. What they are able to achieve in two short days is nothing short of miraculous. In the closing circle, youth who had come to Con feeling isolated and resentful were transformed, eagerly proclaiming, “This weekend has been incredible!” and “I love you all so much!” But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The weekend began with orientations. Adult sponsors gathered in the library, and the Youth Empowerment Services (YES) team explained our role. Each of us were assigned a youth mentor who we could check in with at any time over the week if we had any questions or issues.

Next, the “Spirit Corps” gathered. They needed a much larger space, because by my estimate, about two thirds of the youth wanted in. In days gone past, a “Spirit Committee” made up of youth and adults would patrol the campus, throwing candy at anyone who was out of line—the rules are clear: no drugs, alcohol, or violence, and no sexual contact between the neck and the knees. However, these days a culture shift is underway, and more youth are taking responsibility for cultivating an accepting, respectful, safe environment.

In addition to the Con rules and the site rules—don’t go in the woods...there are bear and cougar—the deans of Con (our own McKay Campbell and Marina Phillips from Cedars) explained the purpose and function of Spirit Corps. Ably supported by a cast of district youth leaders, they told us about “The Robbie Rule,” which invites us to make sure that there is always space for one more person in any con- versational circle, and “The One Hour Rule,” which limits the amount of time a person spends with any one person, in order to make sure that you meet more people.

The general orientation hardly had any new arrivals, so enthusiastic was the response to the invitation to be a part of the Spirit Corps. Before we knew it, it was time for the first of three worship services, all led by KUUF’s Caitlin Budd.

It was simply magical to see these youth, their faces lit only by candlelight, singing and worshipping together.

By now it was about 3 o’clock, so most of the sponsors headed to sleep, while the youth stayed up talking, drumming, and making hemp bracelets...and hugging. There is lots of hugging at Con. Though clearly some people were greeting others as old and dear friends, it was inspiring to see the way ‘con virgins,’ people new to Con, were welcomed intentionally and shepherded through their experience by other youth.

“Touch Groups” allowed for a deeper connection to a small group of people. Workshops were fun but had real content, and the theme presentation invited the youth into conversations about theological topics that adults sometimes shy away from. Not the youth. Most dived in, and I was amazed by the diversity of beliefs and experiences they shared.

One of my favorite experiences was the “Talent/No-Talent Show.” Most of the youth that performed were astoundingly talented. A few were...not. Regardless, the response was unguarded enthusiasm. From the young woman who stuck a straw through her tongue (eww!) to the young man who dressed in drag and lip synched “Dancing Queen” to the many multitalented musicians, dancers and comedians, everyone was applauded, drowned in hoots and hollers, and loved and appreciated unconditionally.

It used to be that people viewed Con as a time to let loose. Away from the parents, with minimal supervision, who would be surprised if the youth went a little wild? Some churches stopped sponsoring their youth, keeping them at home. My own experience as a UU youth at district events was decidedly mixed.

However, I can say with absolute certainty that Cons now are light years away from my experience back in the stone ages. The youth create something amazing, inspiring, and almost utopian: a place where everyone is not just accepted, but celebrated, just as they are. I’ve never seen a truer or fuller expression of our UU values.

Blessings, Liz

Replica of the Goddess of Democracy statue at Freedom Park in Arlington, Virginia. Photo taken by Ben SchuminCivil discourse requires that we truly listen to one another with open minds, that is, with a willingness to adjust our own opinion. When we enter a room with the intent to argue and defend our position, civil discourse is difficult. When we enter a room with sincere curiosity, with a desire to understand and learn from people who have different points of view, then we can actually get somewhere.

Civil discourse also requires that we stay calm and avoid becoming reactive, outraged, angry or upset. Righteous indignation gets in the way of civil discourse. Ironically, it is when we refuse to acknowledge and address our feelings that they are the most likely to color our interactions with one another. Name them, and they lose their power to make us act irrationally.

Sometimes I think the problems we have to face are so big and daunting that we keep going back to partisan politics in order to avoid facing them. Revamping the health care system is a huge, complicated problem, requiring compromise and sacrifice and a lot of negotiation. It’s EASIER to call President Obama names or make up stories about ‘Death Committees’. It’s EASIER to focus on feelings of outrage about the legislator who called President Obama a liar or to rant and rave about ex-Governor Palin. It’s harder to discern and articulate a way to move forward together.

Nobel Prize winner Amartya Sen feels that most conflict grows out of identifying too strongly with a single aspect of our identity. Each of us has several overlapping identities. We have a family identity, a national identity, a religious identity, a racial identity and more. When one part of our identity becomes more important to us than any other, we feel threatened by people who don’t share that particular identity.

This analysis offers one strategy for finding common ground. Rather than focusing on differences, when we meet one another, we can seek to find a similarity, an identity we share, a connection point, and start from there. When there is a relationship, then differences don’t feel as threatening.

Human beings are incredibly complex. As UU’s, we believe that all people have inherent worth and dignity, not just in spite of but because of their unique combination of identifying factors: color, creed, kind, political party, and more. When we take the time to get to know people, to listen to their story, we discover that every person is much more than a list of identifying terms. Most importantly, we find places of connection. We find common ground.

I would argue that everyone can find a connection with everyone else. If it proves to be difficult, you might consider prevaricating. One of my favorite stories from the past few years involves a KUUF member and ardent democrat who told a little white lie to anyone she met with a Bush/Cheney bumper sticker. “I voted for them too, and I’m not that happy with how things are going. How are you feeling about it?” Presto: common ground.

I don’t know how to solve the national health crisis. I don’t know how to deal with global warming. I don’t know how to end poverty or prevent terrorism or bring this country out of the recession. But I DO know that if we’re going to find solutions to these big, complex problems, we have to be able to work together. We have to be willing to cross those lines of identity, and to recognize that we are all in this together.

As caring, intelligent human beings, we are capable of building relationships, capable of finding common ground. When we find it, when people with two opposing view points come to some agreement, it feels almost magical. Common ground is holy ground. May we seek it together.

Blessings, Liz

These beets grew in KUUF’s community garden. Many different sets of hands prepared the soil, tended the beds, weeded and watered and harvested with no ulterior motives or desire to profit personally. Our garden is a true labor of love. We’ve provided over 160 pounds of fresh, organic produce to the Bremerton FoodLine. Call me crazy, but I believe that the beets knew the difference.

Everything we do at KUUF is a labor of love, and most projects, processes, events, and ministries are the work of many hands. I think of all the seeds I’ve seen planted over the past few years, ideas for new initiatives, for parties, for classes and fundraisers and ways of doing church. Not every idea takes root, but the ones that flourish are the ones that are tended by many hands, shepherded along, and allowed to become something different than, perhaps, the original imaginer intended.

For that matter, our very lives are a labor of love. We experience life, accomplish tasks, and then craft meaning, defining and articulating the story arch of our particular journey. Here, too, the lives that are strongest and truest are those that are guided and supported by many hands. We need one another, in good times and bad.

I am curious and excited to find out what might grow in our Religious Education program, now that we have dedi- cated space and a congregational commitment to explore new possibilities. I am eager to find out the ways in which last Spring’s five-year plan will plant new seeds of vitality and sustainability. But the garden has another lesson for us, and that is: PATIENCE. My delicious beets didn’t grow overnight.

People have a much longer lifespan, so our growing time is extended. The lifespan of the congregation is longer still, hopefully reaching into some distant future. The way to promote growth is to get out of the way, to be patient, and to let whatever is growing take shape in its own unique way.

I have a poem above my desk by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. It’s called “Patient Trust,” and it reads, in part,

Above all, trust in the slow work of the spirit. We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay...

And yet it is the law of all progress

that it is made by passing through some stages of instability—and that it may take a very long time...

And so I think it is with you, your ideas mature gradually—let them grow, let them shape themselves, without undue haste. Don’t try to force them on, as though you could be today what time (that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will) will make of your tomorrow.

Who can say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be? Give yourself the benefit of believing that the Spirit is leading you...

The Spirit of Life is in that beet seed, and given fertile ground, love and care, water and light, space to grow and time to rest, it grows into its best self. So it can be for each of us. So should it be. So may it be.

Blessings, Liz

Our nation is becoming more diverse. Our congregations are not. The longing for racial and cultural diversity, however, still persists. To be effective, Rasor believes our actions need to come not out of political correctness or a desire to see a few more colorful faces in our congregations, but out of recognition of that longing, and a theological center that calls us to love all people.The second piece was the successful candidacy of my colleague and friend, the Rev. Peter Morales, the new president of our Association. Peter’s campaign website is www.petermoralesforuuapresident.org. He talked a great deal about two moral imperatives. The first is to transform our religious culture so that it is both more welcoming to newcomers and more relevant to the lives of existing members. The second is to heed the “call that leads us to work together to make a better world...the same call heard by Servetus, Ballou, Channing, Parker and Susan B. Anthony—a call to “leave behind what is outmoded and to let compassion guide us as we shape a future together.” I heard in his words at general assembly a clear articulation of what we are called to do together, of the way radical inclusion leads to the building of beloved community within our congregations, and around the world. Peter’s prophetic vision clearly resonated with the delegates present at the assembly.

Last but certainly not least, there is the new advocacy campaign being launched by the UUA, called Standing on the Side of Love. The campaign empowers individuals and communities to stand up to oppression, discrimination, and violence, and to stand up for marriage equality, immigrant rights, economic justice, and more. I am already thinking about how we might stand on the side of love here in Kitsap County, and who we might partner with to do it.

All of these taken together, and enriched by excellent worship services and workshops (many of which are available online), led me to a deep understanding that the 'glowing coal' at our center is a fierce, radically inclusive love.

Ware Lecturer, Dr. Melissa Harris-Lacewell, in an address called “Faith and Reason”  put it this way: We have come here together to make the most ridiculous, unlikely, and powerful faith claim of all: that we can join together to make a world that recognizes the inherent worth and dignity of each person, and that we can make that world using the power of love.

Each of us is called by this faith to love ourselves, one another, and the world. We may respond to that call in unique and individual ways, but at the root of it all is love. Unitarian Universalists across the country and around the world, in partnership with all others who work for peace, compassion, and justice for love’s sake, are committed to the work of healing this world one choice, one person, one word, one step at a time.

Blessings,

Liz

Blessings, Liz

...when we finally know we are dying, and all other

sentient beings are dying with us, we start to have a

burning, almost heartbreaking sense of the fragility and

preciousness of each moment and each being, and from

this can grow a deep, clear, limitless compassion for all

beings.

-Sogyal Rinpoche

I’ve been pretty shaken up by the circumstances surrounding Mary Stockton’s death. I don’t think I’m alone in that. For those of you who don’t yet know the details, despite many calls by concerned members and friends, the police, on their first three trips to the house, were reluctant to break in because of ‘liability issues.’

As a result, Mary had been dead for at least three weeks when they finally located an open window and found her body. Mary had died suddenly, so it is not that she might have been saved if they had gone in sooner. However, her cat was shut in the room with her and died as well. That was completely unnecessary.

KUUF Board of Trustees President, Leif Bentsen, has sent a letter to the Bremerton Police Department on our behalf. Meanwhile, I have been thinking about what we, as individuals and as a community, might do to make sure that nothing like this happens again. It’s not pleasant to be reminded that none of us can know for sure we will wake up tomorrow. However, having been reminded, it seems right to ask, “what might we do?”

First and foremost, I think it’s important that all of us, whether we live alone or not, find trusted neighbors to whom we can give a spare key and our emergency contact information. That way there will be somebody nearby who can go into the house or apartment and check if things look ‘off’ in any way. The KUUF neighborhood groups provide a good pool of trustworthy neighbors, in case you don’t know the folks who live next door.

Secondly, I think we should consider keeping emergency contact information in the church database. I worked pretty hard, in concert with the coroner’s office, to track down Mary’s closest friend. It took us almost two days. We ought to have that information close to hand.

Thirdly, we ought to be offering workshops on preparing for death on a fairly regular basis. As a part of the workshop, we could talk about what we want to happen after we die, both in terms of what happens to our body, and what we want in terms of a memorial service. I know it seems morbid, but things go much more smoothly for the survivors when there is a file that clearly describes the wishes of the deceased. Not knowing can lead to tension and even conflict. It seems logical to keep this kind of information on file at the fellowship.

Last but not least, we should consider setting up voluntary phone trees. Some folks might appreciate a daily or weekly check-in call, especially people who live alone.

The neighborhood groups can provide a pool of people who could be a part of the phone tree. At least one Chalice Circle already has started calling each other every day.

It’s not that nobody noticed that Mary was missing. It’s that nobody had the information or the tools they needed to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Let’s make sure that nothing like this happens again in our community...in memory of Mary.

Blessings, Liz