The Ties that Bind

Sometimes when a minister leaves a congregation, it can feel as if things might fall apart.  It’s not unusual for people to ask:  without our spiritual leader, what will hold us together?  While it is true that the minister serves, in part, by standing at the center of the community and keeping track of as many of the disparate threads of people and activities as possible, I want to assure you that what holds a community together is not a person, but a set of promises.

To make a covenant with each other, to pledge some specific commitment of behavior and shared approach, however brief, is to take ourselves seriously as a community as a powerful and rooted religious contribution to Western thought and practice; it’s to point out that the reason that the ball whirling around at the end of the string does not go flying off into space is because of the string connected to the center, the centripetal force that makes for beloved community which is shelter and solace for our individual spiritual ways. –The Rev. Marc Belletini

Last year, this congregation went through a covenanting process.  About 60 percent of our members were involved in creating the covenant; it was a powerful and healing experience for many who participated.  We began by asking people deep, searching questions about what this community meant to them.  A task force used these responses to create a draft covenant, which then went back out for comments and revisions.  The finished product was adopted at last year’s congregational meeting.

In my opinion, KUUF’s covenant offers a rich and poetic articulation of this unique community’s identity.  In writing about it, I find I can do no better, so here is the text of the covenant:

The members of the Kitsap UU Fellowship establish this covenant in hopes that clear statements about how our values are demonstrated through our behaviors and actions will benefit our community.

We strive to care for each other and nurture a sense of belonging.  Therefore, to the best of our ability we show compassion, kindness and empathy; give support when asked or when it appears to be needed and ask for support as we are willing; respect the goodness and worth of others; and are honest in our communications, behaviors and actions.

We celebrate the fact that our members travel multiple spiritual paths.  Therefore, to the best of our ability we treat each other with non-judgmental, open minded acceptance; maintain the integrity of our relationships through genuineness, authenticity and honesty; are flexible and tolerant of change; and apply reason and love in our wide-ranging quest for knowledge.

We recognize that open and honest communication with each other is essential to the health of our community.  Therefore, to the best of our ability we focus on issues and behaviors, not on people and personalities; allow all a chance to speak; listen with open minds and hearts; and seek to resolve conflicts in private through collaboration, compromise, forgiveness, and fellowship.

We show our commitment to our Fellowship and Unitarian Universalism by our generous support and by working together for the greater good.  Therefore, to the best of our ability we engage in service within the Fellowship, the community and the wider world according to our interests and abilities; contribute time, talent, money and energy as we are able; cultivate in this community and in ourselves a sense of celebration, joy, grace and humor, and sustain a spirit of wisdom, humility and gratitude.

When we speak and act out of an awareness of this deep commitment to one another, and to the greater good, fewer mistakes are made, and forgiveness comes easier.  During this time of transition, if each member of the community can live these words, you will find they serve you well.  The center will hold-- so long as all of you remember to hold the covenant close.

Blessings, Liz