Common Ground is Sacred

Deep partisan divisions don’t bother me. I believe democracy relies upon multiple points of view being fervently held and passionately expressed. However, I am incredibly disappointed in the continuing inability of people on both sides of the red-blue divide to engage in civil discourse, for democracy also relies on this seemingly lost art.

Replica of the Goddess of Democracy statue at Freedom Park in Arlington, Virginia. Photo taken by Ben SchuminCivil discourse requires that we truly listen to one another with open minds, that is, with a willingness to adjust our own opinion. When we enter a room with the intent to argue and defend our position, civil discourse is difficult. When we enter a room with sincere curiosity, with a desire to understand and learn from people who have different points of view, then we can actually get somewhere.

Civil discourse also requires that we stay calm and avoid becoming reactive, outraged, angry or upset. Righteous indignation gets in the way of civil discourse. Ironically, it is when we refuse to acknowledge and address our feelings that they are the most likely to color our interactions with one another. Name them, and they lose their power to make us act irrationally.

Sometimes I think the problems we have to face are so big and daunting that we keep going back to partisan politics in order to avoid facing them. Revamping the health care system is a huge, complicated problem, requiring compromise and sacrifice and a lot of negotiation. It’s EASIER to call President Obama names or make up stories about ‘Death Committees’. It’s EASIER to focus on feelings of outrage about the legislator who called President Obama a liar or to rant and rave about ex-Governor Palin. It’s harder to discern and articulate a way to move forward together.

Nobel Prize winner Amartya Sen feels that most conflict grows out of identifying too strongly with a single aspect of our identity. Each of us has several overlapping identities. We have a family identity, a national identity, a religious identity, a racial identity and more. When one part of our identity becomes more important to us than any other, we feel threatened by people who don’t share that particular identity.

This analysis offers one strategy for finding common ground. Rather than focusing on differences, when we meet one another, we can seek to find a similarity, an identity we share, a connection point, and start from there. When there is a relationship, then differences don’t feel as threatening.

Human beings are incredibly complex. As UU’s, we believe that all people have inherent worth and dignity, not just in spite of but because of their unique combination of identifying factors: color, creed, kind, political party, and more. When we take the time to get to know people, to listen to their story, we discover that every person is much more than a list of identifying terms. Most importantly, we find places of connection. We find common ground.

I would argue that everyone can find a connection with everyone else. If it proves to be difficult, you might consider prevaricating. One of my favorite stories from the past few years involves a KUUF member and ardent democrat who told a little white lie to anyone she met with a Bush/Cheney bumper sticker. “I voted for them too, and I’m not that happy with how things are going. How are you feeling about it?” Presto: common ground.

I don’t know how to solve the national health crisis. I don’t know how to deal with global warming. I don’t know how to end poverty or prevent terrorism or bring this country out of the recession. But I DO know that if we’re going to find solutions to these big, complex problems, we have to be able to work together. We have to be willing to cross those lines of identity, and to recognize that we are all in this together.

As caring, intelligent human beings, we are capable of building relationships, capable of finding common ground. When we find it, when people with two opposing view points come to some agreement, it feels almost magical. Common ground is holy ground. May we seek it together.

Blessings, Liz