Elizabeth Stevens' Autobiography

     I was born and raised in Plymouth, New Hampshire, a small college town nestled in between the lakes region and the White Mountains. Growing up in Plymouth gifted me with an appreciation for nature, an affection for small towns, and a supportive UU church family that still keeps tabs on me…and vice versa. My parents became charter members of the Starr King UU Fellowship when I was eight, making me pretty much a “cradle UU.” What started out as a group of about 30 people and their kids, meeting in peoples’ houses, has grown to be a church with 130 members, two buildings and a minister. 
     I headed off to Yale at sixteen. After a tumultuous freshman year, I settled into a routine of classes, friends, volunteering, exercising, singing and playing bridge. In my sophomore year, I met my husband Graham and fell head over heels in love. I haven’t stopped falling for him yet.
     After graduation, I flew to Russia to teach English for a year. I really loved teaching, and being on my own in a foreign country taught me quite a bit about myself. My Russian soon became fluent. I left with mixed feelings of regret and relief; regret to be leaving so many wonderful friends, relief to be returning to my easier, more comfortable life here in the states (not to mention my family and my future husband).
     Graham and I were married shortly after I returned, and I moved through several different jobs in the first two years of our marriage. I tried working in a law firm and writing for a newspaper. I worked at a small software company, starting as an executive assistant, but also trying sales and marketing before moving to applications programming and technical support. 
     Nothing felt right until I “heard the call” on a beautiful day in September of 1995. Graham and I were walking around Walden Pond and discussing our future plans. In the course of our conversation, Graham asked me, "What is it you like to do?"
     This was a completely new way of thinking for me. I had thought about what I was qualified for, what I might be good at…but never what I really loved doing. The list included reading, learning, thinking, writing, singing, walking in the woods, lying on the beach—but it was when I got to “sitting around with a bunch of people B.S.-ing” and then “really feeling like I can make a difference in the world” that it hit me. I could be a UU minister! The sun came out, the birds started to sing, I heard a little voice in my heart saying, "What took you so long?"
     I took a class at Harvard and loved it, and then applied to seminary. The decision to uproot ourselves and move to California so that I could go to Starr King rather than staying in Boston and attending Harvard was a difficult one, but in retrospect, the right decision to make. We thoroughly enjoyed our time in the Bay Area, and the educational experience at Starr King stretched me in ways that the more structured program at Harvard might not have. 
     Intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally, I thrived at Starr King. Physically, I faced some unusual challenges. In my second year, I had surgery twice, once to repair a knee injured while skiing, and once to remove a cyst from my ovary. In the wake of this second surgery, our doctor advised us to think seriously about having children sooner rather than later. And so, I spent my third year pregnant with our first son, Sam. I often felt during seminary that the universe really wanted me to learn about self care—how to say no, how to delegate and ask for help, how to balance the personal and the professional. Somehow, I think these lessons learned through adversity will be central to my ministry in the future.
     
  

Rev. Elizabeth H. Stevens and family

     Since I would be starting my internship with a three-month-old, I wanted to find something part time. Most of the churches in the Bay Area were geared for full time internships, and so we found ourselves moving across the country yet again so that I could begin my internship in Duxbury. I loved working in the parish. Pretty much all of the aspects of parish ministry appealed to me—making pastoral visits and leading worship, designing rites of passage and even attending committee meetings. 
     After receiving preliminary fellowship in February 2000, I gave birth to our second son, Daniel, on March 19th. In June, I was ordained, and then the entire family headed to Nashville for General Assembly. Phew!
     With a two year old and a newborn, it didn’t seem wise to jump into solo ministry, and I accepted a position as the Assistant Minister to Youth and Children in Marblehead. When I arrived in Marblehead, my office had no desk, computer, working phone, or heat. With no existing programs for children or youth, we had to build some from scratch. The former DRE had taken most of the library with her, and had left the rest in complete disarray. I had very little experience as a religious educator, and had been hired at only ¾ time. Yet somehow, in six weeks, we had a successful program we dubbed “family hour” up and running.
     Once Family Hour started, each Sunday I led two children’s chapels, participated in the community worship service, and provided an activity for the kids during the second half of the service. I also acted as lead advisor for the youth group, which met every week. Three major pastoral crises involving youth also took a great deal of time and attention.
     Being perpetually tired and overwhelmed is not the best state in which to minister. It seemed best for all involved for me to resign and focus for a while on my family. 
     I have spent the past three years enjoying being a full time mom, while keeping a hand in with regular supply preaching jobs, sabbatical and vacation ministries, and other “free-lance” church work. Surprisingly, this has felt like a ministry all its own, especially since our move this past winter to the Washington, DC area, where many colleagues seem to be able to use my help. I’ve been in the pulpit at least two or three Sundays a month. I even had one weekend where I did a wedding, a Sunday service, and a memorial service; planning these services and writing a homily, a sermon, and a eulogy in the week following hurricane Isabel, I think I got a taste of what full time ministry will be like at its most challenging. 
     My spiritual and personal journeys have continued, as well. I’ve worked with a spiritual director, and have taken up yoga. Daily finding the time for spiritual practice is a challenge, but I’ve become better and better at meeting it. The kids have really flourished with me at home, and are increasingly independent. Meanwhile, my husband’s career has evolved to a point where he is ready and able to cut back to part time consulting work and take on more of the parenting responsibilities. 
     And now, the time is right for me to search for a settled position. I am longing to stay with one community over time, building relationships that last. As a family, we’re ready to put down roots. In short, my call to parish ministry is reasserting itself. I look forward to answering that call.